Vivienne Keill and Jackie Riviera are a couple of aging stage actresses who live in vertically adjacent flats. The two are of questionable talent, and their careers seem to be at a standstill. During the course of the pilot, Vivienne has the opportunity to be cast in a new show but delivers a horrifying rendition of the standard "Send in the Clowns", thanks in part to Jackie's off-kilter advice.

• BBC
• Jennifer Saunders
• Joanna Lumley
• Julia Sawalha
• Jane Horrocks
• June Whitfield
• Harriet Thorpe
• Tim Wylton
• Bonnie Langford